Flying...

I would like to thank the terrorists for making me unable to carry on my makeup remover/cleanser/toner/moisturizer. So annoying. I really hope by the time I get back my face hasn't revolted. I did buy some makeup remover wipes so hopefully my face will be fine. We're flying out at 7.50pm. I haven't been on a plane since junior year of high school when I flew to San Diego. Never been on a small airplane either. Should be an interesting flight. It's only an hour long so that won't be bad at all. I'll be happy once this weekend is over. It's not that I don't want tomorrow to happen, I do. I just know that I'm going to being crying most of the day probably.

So, here's a mini rant. Maybe it's the fact at college you're surrounded by blonde hair, tan clones all in their ugg boots and sporting their coach purses. (Gag me.) Okay so my major problem isn't with them, keyword major. However, it really bothers me how so many of them act like "Omg, I'm so great because I have blonde hair and am just super cute!!" Or they say things like "Blondes have more fun!!" Well.. that's nice.. except do you fail to see your brown roots growing out when you look in the mirror? Sorry, you are not really a blonde but a brunette. Oh the horror! Brown hair. I don't know, it just bothers me. When they're like "Ew, I would never want brown hair!" Well you have it, you just decide to pay over $100 every 6 weeks to try and keep people from knowing that. Oh yeah and when you are no longer a tan shade but instead orange, you have a problem. You don't look like a human. Okay, I think I'm done. Wait, one more thing. I personally think brown hair is better (yes I have it) but if a girl has brown hair I feel she isn't so wrapped up in this image of what she thinks is beautiful to go out and dye (ruin) her hair blonde. Anyway, blondes never look mysterious, just stupid and ditzy. Ok now I'm done.

Best new workout...

For your butt. Walking uphill in snowboots (that feel like five pound weights around each ankle) on snow (that feels like you're walking on sand). Yeah, rather lifting for the behind region. It's not all that fun though. At least it means I get a workout everytime I walk up to campus which is at least once a day. However, I will be incredibly happy once the snow is gone, for good.

I got scriptwriting software yesterday, installed it today. It's really cool. You can assign voices to the characters so you can hear the script read to you, instead of reading it to yourself. Yes, the voices are robotic and say some words rather funny, but it's still really neat. I wrote my first script... which is more of a joke than anything. Just a funny story that arose out of my thought that having children is really awkward. It seems alien-like to have another being growing inside of you. Yeah.. it's a rather messed up plotline I'm not going to lie. But it's really funny if you get over the fact it's insanely weird/creepy/random. I have a four page script due next Thursday, I'm pretty excited to work on it. I think I might've truly found my passion... it's really exciting.

Blue skies...

With a temperature of -8 degrees. Yes, I walked to class in -8 degrees this morning. My nostrils instantly seemed to freeze once I stepped out my door... it hurt and felt awkward. This cold is a bit ridiculous. I will admit, it's a bit pretty outside with everything white and the sun shining. But! I still hate it.

Which is why this next bit of news is rather exciting...
After e-mailing the director of a tv show I met at the symposium in the spring, I was waiting and waiting. He said to forward him the e-mail again if he hadn't responded in awhile. Last night I forwarded the message after sending it two weeks ago. I figured my e-mail was targeted as spam and just ended up in his junk mail. Or he was so flooded with e-mails that mine seemed insignificant and easy to just pass over.

Yet, when I checked my e-mail again last night, a little over a half hour later, he had responded. !!! He said that he was busy because he was shooting on location in Toronto. Ha, I would love that life. Anyway, he asks me all these questions about scriptwriting that were really specific. Questions I hadn't even really thought of. All of it to get to know me better to hopefully find me an internship in LA! Ahh. I'm really excited. It's something I've always wanted and has the possibility of actually coming true.

You only live once. I know what I want to do isn't the easiest industry to break into. But an internship could help me out a lot with that. I'd be fooling myself to say I wanted to do something else. I know myself, I don't. They just seem a little bit easier than this. Anyway, doing something like this is scary as much as exciting. It's kind of a good feeling to have. Why live your life always feeling complacent with what you have and what you're doing. You have to go after what you really want because it's not going to try it's hardest to find you, someone else that really wants it is going to go after it and get it. So this is me going after what I really want.. and hopefully getting it.

With new beginnings also come endings...

To start my day off, I watched the inaguration in my advertising class. I was happy the teacher said this was a historic moment and we needed to watch it. I must say, Obama's speech was amazing. He is so eloquent. So moving with his words. You truly believe he stands behind the words he's saying. I must say, in the past few years, I have been embarrassed to be an American. Embarrassed of what our country had done and the way our leader represented us. Today though, I can say that I'm actually proud to be an American. I think there is actual hope for our country to get better. Not quickly, I don't even think in four years Obama will be able to achieve everything he wants. But in eight years I think our country can make real progress from where we are today.

So, with a new beginning for the US... came an ending in my family.

My grandma passed away this morning at 10.30am. I've got to say, this has really shaken me. When my parents divorced, my grandma stepped in for my mom when I was with my dad. She was always there, always sent Christmas cards/birthday cards, always watched the Mariner's games to record whether they won or lost, always knew how to make the best peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It's funny how when someone goes away you remember all the little things that you can't ever get back again. Okay, it's not funny but it's rather sad except I'm trying to not focus on the sad part. I'm completely void right now. I went to the store and realized I was just walking around aimlessly... I didn't really know why I walked where I did or what I even needed to buy. Also, driving while feeling void isn't good, your reactions are a bit slower, probably because you're just out of it.

I'm really sad about it but I realize this is the natural progression of life. She lived to be 82, it wasn't a short life. It's just sad to know that she's gone and I'll never be able to see her again. Also, she was the last living grandparent, so I am now at none. Which is a scary thought knowing my parents generation is the next to go in the progression of getting older. I don't know.

I found it interesting that on a day I was so full of hope for our country, I was also devastated by a passing of a person I loved. You can't have everything can you?

Three day weekend...

My biggest accomplishment of this lovely three day weekend? Getting my cousin hooked on the OC and watching all of season one, ha. It is weird how entirely different people can be. While watching the OC I would notice someone's hair, makeup, lack of eyebrows being even (being obsessed with eyebrows you notice that kind of thing) and my cousin said to me, "How did you even notice something like that?!" And I responded, "I don't know, those are just the first things I notice." I thought most girls noticed things like that but I guess I am wrong.



Also, not all girls share my love of makeup. Which shocks me. One of the reasons I'm happy to not be male is the fact girls can wear makeup. Seeing a picture and copying the makeup makes me so happy. So, I spent one day watching the OC/eating pizza completely makeup-less. So the next day when we decided to go to a party, I decided to go all out and do a green smoky eye with black eyeliner to make a more cat-eye look. I don't know what it is, but I feel I look deathly ill when I go more than a day without makeup on which makes me then really go all out the next time I put it on. My cousin tells me she has decided to put on eyeshadow which is something she never does. She asks me if brown is a color that is okay to use. I thought that was common knowledge. Before we leave, she asks me to make sure her eyeshadow is okay. She said "I don't know what I'd do without you... I just don't get this stuff." Again, I don't know why I'm so into makeup and other girls aren't. I couldn't even tell you the point in my life which I decided I loved makeup. But it happened and now I feel naked going out in public with nothing on. I don't see myself being one of those women who when I get married/have children completely let go of myself and stop caring about my outward appearance. Maybe I'm just a shallow person and shouldn't care so much about superficial stuff like this. But I do, it's who I am. And who wants me to spend a day teaching her how to do makeup? My cousin, I mean I think most girls want to be able to do their makeup well. I just found it interesting.

And since we're on the topic of makeup... I am just waiting for the occassion to arise where I can wear teal eyeshadow. Hopefully a party will happen sooner than later and I can do that. It sucks when no one else is as into makeup, because when you really go all out and no one else does, you really do stand out. But what's wrong with that?

TGIF

I can't believe it's finally Friday. This week moved at a crawl. This will by far be the busiest semester I've had. Long days on campus. Also, joining clubs to start building up my resume will fill up my nights. The only upside to being this busy, is by the time I do finally go to bed, I'm exhausted and fall asleep quickly with the alarm going off again before I know it.

My self-defense class is literally kicking my ass. I won't lie, when we had to do push-ups on our knuckles the non-girly way and I was struggling to even do one, the thought crossed my mind to immediately drop the class. I didn't need to take it, was just taking it because my friends wanted me to. Then, I got really mad at myself. For allowing myself to jump to quitting so easily when something was hard. So instead, while attempting to hold myself up (by 15 I had given up hope of actually going down), I made a goal to myself that by the end of the semester I will be able to do those 20 push-ups the correct way. I'm going to practice them at home so I can hopefully get better faster. It's crazy though, we did a lot of stretching, some push-ups, jumping jacks, crunches, then a few punches and a few blocks. Yet, after class my arms and butt hurt pretty bad. Then yesterday, it hurt whenever I laughed because my abs were sore. I really didn't feel like I got a workout but I guess I was wrong. This should be good though, strenghten the core. Oh yeah, our teacher's goal is to have everyone doing the splits by the end of class... ha!

A goal for me this semester is to be more social. I'm not completely anti-social, but I did pass up a lot of things last semester to spend nights to myself. I'm still going to do that just not as often. Case in point, this weekend. I'd love nothing more than a day to myself where I can be lazy, especially after this week. But, I'm going to go out and do stuff. I wish I had better three day plans. Can't believe it's only week one... hopefully this semester picks up pace. I know I'm going to be regretting saying that around week 9.

Well, off to attempt those push-ups again...

Starting over...

Funny how I so easily forgot about this. Also funny to read the previous posts I made. In the last year, I guess you could say that I've grown quite a bit. Which is the reason for deleting those posts and starting over new, with this.

I'm finally in a class that makes me so excited it's almost ridiculous. I'm like a little kid who's all excited to open presents on Christmas morning. The class is TV screenwriting. The teacher seems like a really funny guy who reminds me of one of my favorite teachers from high school. The class is going to be a bit hard. Our scripts are going to be critiqued in front of the class on the overhead, for all to see each others mistakes. I've heard this guy will show a ten page script with the first two pages completely crossed out. A bit intimidating. There is no book for the class, we're only required to buy script software which costs the same, if not more, as a new book. However, my dad two years ago for Christmas bought me Story: Substance, Structure, Style, and the Principles of Screenwriting by Robert McKee. I started re-reading it last night. I'm hoping listening to the suggestions/techniques in this book, my scripts won't be so horrible and the teacher will actually say they are good. The book is regarded as the best book on screenwriting so I can't see it hurting me any to read it. Ah, I'm just so excited to actually start working in this class. It will definitely be the class to get most of my attention this semester which probably shouldn't be the case. Anyway, I figure writing in this blog constantly will keep myself thinking and evaluating life which can only help me in writing scripts.

On a completely different note: I am entirely over this weather. Trying to walk down your parking lot that's a hill in black ice is not fun. At all. Or having it be pitch black at 6 p.m. and walking down a steep hill hoping to not hit black ice. Looks like I'll be figuring out the bus schedule. This winter has only resolidified my desire to live in California after college. I do best in warm weather, with palm trees. I miss the palm trees... a lot. I'm hoping to hear back soon about possibly getting an internship in LA this summer. If I do get it, words cannot describe how happy/excited I would be. I would really be following my dream. I realized that doing something like this has always been my dream but the odds of making it are against me. I think when you want something so bad and realize there is such a high rate of failure, you kind of shy away from actively pursuing it. Giving up before you really even give it a shot to save yourself from that failure. I realized all these other majors I said I wanted was doing just that. Going to something a bit more "safe" to succeed at. But why? I was never truly happy in those classes. Yes, I liked them but it wasn't this passion deep inside of me. So I have decided fuck it. This is my life, I am the only one who is able to make things I want happen. I know the life I want and I know how hard it is to get there. Taking the easy route for a life that I would be okay with but not love isn't what I want. I'd rather give it 110% for the life I want and fail, than give up before I even try and still end up not happy.

Don't palm trees just put you in an automatic good mood? Maybe it's just me...