Life...

sure has a way to change quickly. And go by entirely too fast. I'm in absolute shock that it's already Thanksgiving break. That means there's a month before my last Christmas break, insane. I really need to keep this updated more. I think having a place to release my everyday thoughts/rants would be helpful. Plus, it'd be nice to look back on down the road.

Well, with my previous posts of starting that new food outlook.... yeah, fail. Being a poor college kid makes eating healthy hard. Also, being stuck up on campus for long periods of time makes it hard to not eat fast food of some sort. I hate excuses. Of course I could find a way to make it work but it'd be hard. My goal for next year is to really plan things out. I think that's a problem, I don't plan anything. Maybe it's senioritis. I just don't have much effort to do anything. Hopefully it's a phase that'll be over soon.

So I told myself this was going to be a year where I worked on myself. And in the last month, I've done some things I really didn't think I would do or allow myself to do. I was open to a lot of new things. Felt new feelings. And to be blunt, was so afraid of what was happening that I royally fucked it up. And I really wish I could take things back but you can't. And I don't think it should've happened differently to be honest. Because I've learned more from this than I ever imagined. I now understand how something you do that you think doesn't matter can hurt someone else. And I now know what it truly feels like to be hurt. Does the situation suck? Of course it does, but I was finally able to open myself up to a situation where I had to put myself out there. And I know I can do it again and I've learned it is worth it to be completely honest with yourself and everyone else. You can only lie to yourself so long. So while most people seem to see the situation as a negative, I see it as a positive. I've learned so much and grown so much in such a short period of time. I feel I took a huge step forward and now can't imagine what I'd be like if that last month hadn't of happened.

Oh, and I now have a new outlook on songs... like this one... feel it perfectly sums up my life right now, haha.

Tegan and Sara - Call It Off from Ashley Brown on Vimeo.

So busy...

I know in the last post I said no excuses but man... this week is just ridiculously busy. Being in class all day then closing at work seriously leaves you with no time. Which is why I'm putting my two weeks in next week. I've realized I really need to focus on myself and quitting will help with that.

Anyway, so to do this better body thing it will of course revolve around eating right and exercise. For the eating right part, I'm going by what it's the book Naturally Thin: Unleash Your Skinny Girl and Free Yourself From a Lifetime of Dieting by Bethenny Frankel.

Yes, she is from the Real Housewives of New York but this book is actually really good. I'll go through it's main points throughout several posts. The first chapter is "Your Diet is a Bank Account." When I first read this I was like wtf does that mean? And now I think it's the most logical thing I've ever heard diet related. Here's an excerpt from the chapter:

"Just as you balance your spending and savings, you must balance your food choices. Don't eat too much of any one thing, don't eat the same thing twice, balance starches with proteins, vegetables and fruits with sweets, and always balance a splurge with a save. This balance is approximate - but it works, and it works without counting, measuring, or obsessing."

Is that not so completely logical it's almost ridiculous? And when I look at what I eat, it's not balanced at all. It's a lot of carbs/starches. A few vegetables here and there, and protein every now and again. Talk about an imbalance. The thing that I love about this though is it's not like a diet. You can eat whatever you want, you just have to balance it out later. Nothing is ever off limits.

But let me tell you, it's easy to understand this, not as easy to follow it. I mean it can be, but I really need to get my ass to the store to do this. Do you notice how starches/carbs are the things that can live in your pantry for months? So when you run out of vegetables/fruits, you still have those to fall back on. Yeah, not too good. So tomorrow I'm going to the store to stock up on salad and veggies. However, while I haven't been following this yet, I have been thinking about it. I've seen how my choices aren't working or I've changed what I would normally get to try and balance it the best I could. What I'm planning on my typical day of food looking like is:

Breakfast: Eggs

Lunch: Sandwich

Dinner: Salad or Soup

Ha, super simple but so many possibilities with each. You can easily change lunch and dinner too. I love throwing together a new salad. I'm one of those people who never thinks a salad is boring. So yeah, I'm going to look up some recipes for things to make.

I would definitely recommend buying the book though, it's really insightful. I'll be posting more of the little tips and tricks it has in there.

Now start realizing how much food debt you're in and get to balancing it!

Epiphany of sorts...

Okay, so have you ever noticed that some of the most simple things/statements can cause the biggest epiphanies? Maybe it's just me. But I had one last week and it was kind of really eye opening. I was at a training where groups of students would come to my station and I'd show them how to use field equipment. While talking, one girl stops me and says "Oh my god, you have the most perfect eye brows I've ever seen." And I just said "Thanks, pluck 'em basically everyday." Cause it's kind of awkward thing to respond to. Then later in the week at a shoot another girl says, "Where do you get your eyebrows waxed?" And I told her that I don't, I just pluck them and shape them myself. And she goes "Oh wow, I wish I could get my eyebrows to look like that by myself."

Ok, so what do my eyebrows being so-called "perfect" have to do with this great epiphany? It went like this. I realized in all my responses I would say, "Oh well I pluck them everyday." The only reason my eyebrows look the way they do is because each morning, even sometimes twice a day, I will pluck them. Sure, I miss doing it a day here and there, but then I make up for that later and pluck for longer. However, even when I'm running late in the morning, I still have the urge to pluck my eyebrows.

Well, do I have the perfect body or the perfect weight? No. And why should I? How many days do I really work toward having that perfect body? Honestly, right now, none. It makes total sense. If I worked at it everyday, there is no way my body would look like this. It'd be in shape. So I can't get upset with how I am now, because I'm not doing anything to change it. There's no reason it should be perfect, because I'm not working at it.

I don't know, maybe this isn't as profound to you guys, but this hit me. Pretty hard. It kind of put everything into perspective. You get back what you put in. I'm not putting in anything, so I'm not getting back anything. It's made me completely rethink why I should work out and eat better. I can only get close to perfect when I work at it. So if I really want to get in shape, I've gotta work at it, everyday. Even do it if I don't want to or "don't have time." When I don't do it, I need to make up for it later by doing more.

Starting this week I'm going to change the way I do things. Tomorrow will be my beginning post. I'd do it now but I'm too tired, long day. Anyway... so hopefully with this new perspective, I can actually get closer to what I think my perfect body would be. Because I'd rather have people be complimenting that then my eyebrows.

Update..

So, my welcome back to WSU was getting the oh so lovely swine flu. Yeah. It's really not that bad. The doctor even said "You are one of the best people I've seen for having it." However, I am now stuck inside my apartment until Saturday at the earliest. I feel like I'm on house arrest. I have no problem staying in my apartment if I want to. But when someone else says I have to, oh man, it's torture. It's been only 12 hours since I've been told to and I'm already going crazy. I don't know what I'll do the next two days.

Missed a weeks worth of class too, it sucks. No work this week. I feel alright, it's just the fact I'm "highly contagious". Oh no!! Ha. Yeah and so are half the people on campus probably and that's how my lovely self got it.

So I guess in the next few days I'll be watching lots of movies and TV, maybe reading a book or two. Should probably do all my class reading, ha. Man. This just sucks. I hate being sick. And geez the test they do to see if you have influenza... it fucking hurts. My nose still hurts.

I hope no one else gets this! It's not fun being forced to stay inside as everyone is out having fun.

It all has to end sometime...

Nothing lasts forever. And my time in LA is almost up. I know technically this should go in the LA blog but whatever. I just want to get this out and not have many people judge me on it.

First, any expectation I had of LA... mostly found to not be true. Minus the traffic, that does indeed really suck a lot, and the majority of drivers are assholes. Maybe it's because I'm not going to lavish parties in Beverly Hills, but this city really isn't all that glamorous. Yes, there are movie premieres. But they happen in 90 degree heat, in the middle of Hollywood Blvd with a bunch of tourists all around (okay, I know not all, but the one I actually saw for myself). Also, cockroaches crawl on the sidewalks when you walk around at night, so glamorous.

Lots of people here are so into themselves it's just absolutely ridiculous. We went to the movies tonight and had two seats open to my left but it looked like three because the other person was gone. Then the group of guys to our right had one seat available. A group of three girls came up and asked me if the seats next to me were open, I said "No, but two are, and there's one down there, so if we can all move down two then it'll work." The group of guys were like "Ohh, okay that works." Then, the lady I'm living with said "Wow, you may be the only person in this city who actually cares about more than just yourself. That was incredibly nice of you." Incredibly nice? To just do the right thing? That's the crazy thing here, people think so highly of themselves, they can't be bothered with other people. It's not everyone but damn, there's quite a few. I mean, I have met a lot of really cool, down to earth people. But jesus, some people... they really are a disgrace to the human race.

Eating out here seems all cool and everything... but sometimes, all you want is a burger and fries from McDonalds.... and you can't find one. Yeah, fast food is more rare here. But what do you have? A bunch of fancy little restaurants. Meaning, you're always sharing a bill (and let me tell you, being the only one with a card sucks because you put "whats left" on there... and you always get fucked, especially when you order the cheapest thing) and you always have to leave a tip. Eating out is expensive as hell. And everyone here eats out ALL THE TIME. I tried bringing my own lunch for awhile and eating by myself, but my coworkers would act like I was dissing them to not go to lunch with them. It's the weirdest thing. One time, my friend and I seriously asked my roommate where we could go to eat "normal food." I mean, trying new things is cool, but sometimes, all you really want is normal freaking food. Not a burger place that doesn't even have real ketchup.

Now, don't get me wrong, I really do like LA a lot. I could see myself living here. It's just nothing I thought it was going to be. It's no place to start/raise a family. It's actually weird if you know a married couple that lives in LA, more weird if they have kids. A guy I was talking to once said, "It's weird if you find a couple in LA that's happily married." That's a lovely statement, no?

I guess it's not too surprising, but a lot of LA is just a big facade. How many of the Lexus', Jaguars, and Range Rovers are actually just being leased? How many people are in terrible debt from trying to pay rent on their "trendy" LA apartment? Or how many people have their parents still paying their rent... when they're 40? I've met someone that falls in to each of those categories being here.

It's just a weird town, that is entirely consumed by "celebrities" and this fabulous lifestyle. Why do people even do what they do? Why are people lined up to eat frozen yogurt when it tastes like you're eating fucking sour cream? Because in LA, that's the cool thing to do. It's just kind of sad to see how people will blindly do whatever because they think it makes them "better." I don't care if you have a $7,000 one bedroom apartment on the beach, drive a Range Rover and have some Hollywood job... it doesn't make you a better person or change the fact you're just an absolute asshole.

Ha... this has turned into a rant. And it probably sounds like I hated my time here, but I really didn't. There are just parts to this town I don't like. I've never liked fake people and this town is full of them.

But, I know I'm going to miss it. I'm going to miss the sunsets with the black silhouettes of palm trees against the downtown skyline. I'm going to miss seeing someone walking a dog everytime I leave the apartment. I'm going to miss going to hike in Runyon and getting my ass kicked, but then feeling like it was totally worth it when you look out over all of LA at the top. I'm going to miss being in a place where you are truly part of everything current that's going on. I'm going to miss the beach being 20 minutes away. The sun shining everyday. The bright flowers all over the city and the exotic plants. I'm going to miss going to the park and reading on my lunch break, getting away from everyone I know here and having time completely to myself. I'm going to miss the pond full of turtles behind work. I'm going to miss my stupid little cubicle that everyone thought was the perfect place to sit when I was gone, and how I would hear everyone's private conversations at the tables behind me. I'll miss being able to create things that people all over the world were able to see. I'll miss the feeling of satisfaction after finding the perfect music to go to your spot and fits with the cool edit you tried to do.

It's weird. Part of me knows I'm coming back, and part of me can't see myself living here more than ten years. To do what I want in life, I have to be here. I was even told, to get in this industry, your resume isn't even looked at if the zipcode isn't LA. I have to be here. I have to start like everyone does as a PA and work my way up. But part of me has this passion in me to be part of that group that creates Hollywood. I've realized I don't want my career to be about what people in Hollywood are doing or what they've made. I want to be doing and be part of the process of it being made. I want people to spend their Saturday night getting ready to go out for a movie night, wait in line with their tickets, and then go in the theatre to see the movie I created. I want them to laugh at the right lines and cry at the right scenes. I want them to leave the theatre feeling good about themselves and inspired to do whatever they want in life. Honestly, I can't see myself being happy doing anything else. I can't see myself doing anything else. I can't work in a cubicle my whole life, I'd honestly go crazy. I can't tell you how many times the thought of blasting music and dancing down the cubicle aisles crossed my mind... people need to do something there to liven things up, seriously.

I don't know, I can't see myself living this normal life. It's weird. Sometimes I wish it was different. I wish I could say I see myself getting married and starting a family within the next ten years and having some stable career job. But I honestly don't. I sort of do believe everyone is put on this planet to do certain things. I think mine is more career-wise than family-wise. And I'm okay with that. Because I know I won't truly be happy, until I make it and see my name attached to great movies and/or television.

I knew coming to LA was going to change me. And it really has. I kind of have this new outlook on life. And it's weird. I feel like I should be scared or worried. I've chosen one of the hardest things a person could want to do. Yet, I have no fear at all. I feel like this is exactly what I should be doing and that it's going to happen. Maybe that's a conceited thing to say, but hell, it's honestly how I feel. I'm not going to worry about the small details. I know it's all going to work itself out. Part of me just wonders why I don't have the urge to live the normal life. Why I can't see settling down and starting a family making me happy. Life is weird, and interesting. And very unexpected. But it's a beautiful thing if you really step back and look at it, I want to contribute to people seeing life as something truly beautiful.

So...

Okay, sometimes at work, I get really bored of watching videos of people I'm supposed to watch. So then I just search other people. Today, I search Jennifer Aniston and realized how much I really like her look and style. Here comes a picture overload!

So, I've decided, after watching the premiere for Marley and Me at work today, when I go in for a trim before school starts, I want my hair to be shaped like this. My hair is basically the same length.

You know...

how in Sex and the City, when Carrie says that when she's starting out in NY she would buy a Vogue instead of dinner because she felt it fed her more?

Well I guess that's how you justify passion for something.

I'm not putting this in my other blog cause who knows if someone at work can see find it. I'm not trying to sound like I don't appreciate this opportunity that has come my way, because I do. But mentally, I'm over it. It doesn't challenge me. It almost pains me to write things like "There's Something About this blonde haired Angel." It's very dumb downed.

So, I realized, fucking a, I'm in LA, why not pursue what I truly want to do? So today, I was at Barnes and Noble and I wandered into the film/tv section. Baad choice, or good which ever way you want to look at it. I stood there for probably a half hour looking at all these books. Then I had my Carrie moment. I knew I really didn't have the money to buy books, but at the same time, these books will feed me more than anything else. So I bought two books, The 101 Habits of Highly Successful Screenwriters and the screenplay to Knocked Up. I have a book back home about the format and technical aspects of writing a script. I wanted one that was more inside the mind of how to make it as one. This books seems pretty cool. And actually seeing a script like the one for Knocked Up is really cool. I'm able to pull it apart. I think buying screenplays is my new favorite thing. The next one I want to buy is the one for American Beauty. But, like Carrie, these purchases are coming at a price. So instead of eating lunch, I'll walk over to the park across the street and read the book I bought. It might seem extreme but at the same time, you do what you have to do. I don't have all the money in the world right now, and not making any income makes it hard to feel secure. And no, I can't just go get a job either, they've been having me come in 5 days a week and my car isn't doing to well with the stop and go traffic here.

But, I've realized. Writing intellectually stimulating things is my passion. Not writing stupid shit that is meant for an idiot to understand. I want to write something provoking and insightful, that impacts people in a positive way. And I will. I want to be a screenwriter/producer/director. Ha, yeah, I dream big. But that's what I want to do. Not write a silly blurb about an actor.

Giving us all hope!

Ok, so after being around a lot of guys this weekend, I came to this consensus, Megan Fox is the hottest thing on the planet. All guys seem to love her, a little too much.


There she is recently. And she does look good, I will admit. Still no Angelina Jolie in my book.

Anyway, this is what she looked like though when she was in the movie Confessions of a Drama Queen or something like that, it was some Lindsay Lohan movie before she got all crazy.


Now I get she is younger, but damn, she grew into her looks. Or got some help along the way to look the way she does now. If however, we go with the fact she just got better with age, it gives all of us hope that we can go from good to smoking hot. Haha.

Positive thinking...

So, I'm in LA and have been updating my other blog instead of this one. But this is a post I feel belongs more on this one.

I'm really liking LA. And what I'm doing here. It's crazy to think I'm actually here, but at the same time, feels like there's nowhere else I should be right now. I think the weirdest thing for me isn't how I feel about being here, but how other people are reacting to me being here. I really don't think it's that big of a deal, just the logical step of what I need to do to do what I want in life.

Yesterday, after talking to a guy I know, he said that he was proud of what I was doing and I was inspiring him to follow his dreams and what he really wants to do in life. In kind of shocked me because I wasn't thinking of how what I'm doing could be affecting other people. The only reaction I was able to detect so far was more people pissed off I was doing this which was weird and I just completely ignored. I mean, I don't know, it kind of shocks me that people seem to just settle. I've never really second guessed what I wanted out of life, I've always known. When people gave me shit for being a communication major, I never cared. A worthless major... yeah, try to do what I'm doing now without it. I always knew I'd get to LA. How, haha, I never really knew. But I have never thought I would just settle to live in Washington.

I feel everyone really knows what they want to do in life and what they want to get out of what they're doing. It becomes more of a do people really have the courage inside themselves to do it. I truly believe everyone can do anything they want, I just think most people get scared and stick with what's easy and they know they can succeed at. I mean, before I came down here I was thinking how it'd be so much easier to just stay in Pullman all summer, working and actually making money because I knew it. But then I realized how stupid that thought was, of course doing something new isn't easy. But eventually it gets there.

And it doesn't matter what other people think about what you're doing, as long as you're happy. I don't know, talking to people recently and how they've reacted to what I'm doing, it seems a lot of people aren't doing what they truly want in life. Instead they just settled for things that they knew they could do well at.

So I guess the point of all of that is, everyone should truly go after what they want in life. If you believe in yourself you really can do anything.

With that said, can't always be positive. My car is just one example of negative thinking for me right now. We got an expensive tune up before driving it down here. The check engine light came on halfway down the drive here. Then it went off. Then two days ago, the car just died after idling. It turned right back on. Then, it happened again not even twenty minutes later, on probably the busiest road in LA leading to the highway that everyone takes to go to the Valley, it died again. Started up again but still. The drivers here are complete and totals assholes. I don't even know what would've happened if it wouldn't of turned back on. I need to stop thinking negative thoughts though and just tell myself the car is fine and will run completely fine and I'll be able to drive it back up when the internship is over.

Here's a video for the secret that's kind of inspiring. It's totally cheesy, especially the end. But, if you're in need of a little inspiration, it could help.

LA Style...

Well, I leave for LA tomorrow afternoon! Should get there Saturday evening. One of the first things we're doing, shopping. Haha. I don't have much at all that will really fit in down there. Here's some of the LA fashion I've been looking at for inspiration for how I should dress down there.

If I can find a guy like that down there, mmhmm!

I love both those looks! So casual yet stylish.

I've had this picture for so long, I love this outfit.

I love this!! I want to wear something like it.

I hope I can find something exactly like this and look that amazing. Oh yeah, to carry a Diane Von Furstenberg bag would be nice, ha.

I need a skirt like that.

I've always loved how Jennifer Aniston can look so great while being so casual.

I had a lot more of Hilary Duff but didn't save them and can't find them again. She's one of my number one inspirations for down there though. Love her style. So effortless looking, but very stylish. I love the sandals too, I'm definitely buying some when I get down there.

So, LA style. It's just casual style but somehow can look so amazing. I'm excited to go shopping. Hopefully, I can lose some weight while I'm down there and look even better in the clothes. My goal is to come back tan and stylish!

A few things I want to for sure buy down there:

• Aviators
• Gladiator sandals
• Awesome necklaces
• A couple great skirts
• Casual but chic t-shirts
• At least one super cute, summery dress

That list will likely grow! I'll be sure to put my finds up here! Haha, the reason for two blogs. Friends and family get the "I went here, it was cool." This gets, "I went here and bought this!!!!!" Hahaha.

LA Blog...

Ok, my blog for LA is set up.

It is: lacoug.blogspot.com

Roadtrip down begins Friday afternoon. Stopping in Northern California, basically right after the border for the night. Then have 8 more hours to get to LA on Saturday! There are two possibilities my friend and I are checking out once we get down there to live at. I know somewhere great will come up. I think what I most need to be worried about is figuring out the bus system! Lord knows Pullman's gives me trouble and that town is one huge circle, haha.

Anyway, now I must go to the doctor to figure out what this stupid sickness is. One week and I'm still sick. Definitely better than I was a week ago, but still. It sucks.

I don't get it...

Maybe it's a fear of the unknown, I'm betting it is. But as I'm packing up my apartment before I leave for home tomorrow, I'm actually getting sad. I don't know why. I'm going to have an amazing summer in LA with a crazy awesome internship. But part of me wants to just stay in Pullman and work at Cougar Country.

It's probably the part of me that doesn't like change very much. I like knowing that I come home to the same thing each day. I like having a place I can call my own. It's weird to give that up for three months, regardless of the reason for. I'm half avoiding finishing packing everything up because it sort of means I'm not actually doing this. Does anyone else trick themselves that way? If I don't do something, it won't happen. Maybe I'm just crazy.

I mean, I know I should go to sleep. I'm waking up at 7am. However, again, the longer I put off going to sleep then waking up will come later so I won't have to pack my car up and give my apartment keys to someone else for the summer. Maybe I have problems letting go of things that are mine. Haha, no, not maybe, I know I do. Plus, after seeing all my friends graduation pictures, I realized most of my college friends, especially in my major, are gone. I don't know. I'm having a "why do we have to grow up moment?" I guess going to LA is a huge adult moment for me. Thank god my mom is driving down with me. I don't know if I'd be able to handle going down there all alone. I guess if we're being completely honest, I'm just a little scared. Scared of being by myself in the second largest city in the country. Scared that my hopes might be up way to high. Scared I made the wrong choice. Just scared of the unknown. At the same time, I know the unknown can be exciting and exhilirating. Which I'm sure it's going to be. I'm just having my I wish I could stay a kid forever moment.

Well, I really should be getting to bed so I'm awake for the 5 hour drive back home.

Here's to growing up... and all the scary but exciting things it holds.

Busy, busy, busy...

Well, it's official, I am a college senior!! It's kind of insane. It's like it was in high school, you always want to get to this point, but never feel it will actually happen. One more year and then I'm a true adult. So crazy.

I'm happy that finals week is over. I worked, a lot. It was really busy since it's graduation weekend. It's sad, more of my friends are graduating. Maybe it was a good thing that most of my friends graduated when I was a freshman, so I'm used to having all my friends graduate each year.

So, today I got some more exciting news. My mom asked me what I wanted for a graduation present, thinking I'd want to go to Las Vegas or Hawaii. I said what about New York. So they tried to get the time share in New York, except there's only one and it's hard to get. Well, today I got a text saying that they got the time share! So a week after I graduate next year, I'll be spending a week in New York!!!! I'm so freaking excited!!

It's crazy. This summer in LA. A week in New York after I graduate. I'm going to all the places I wanted. Ha, call me crazy, but I'd rather go to those two cities than other others in the world right now. I mean, yeah, there are cooler cities but I know these cities hold the key to what I want to do. Do I want to go to Paris? Of course, but I don't think my career awaits in Paris... just yet. One day I'll travel to all those places. Once I make lots of money, haha. I don't know, I don't feel like I'll never have the chance to travel. I know I will, I'll go to every place I want. Maybe I'm just insane and am too comfortable with that thought.

So, tomorrow I am packing up my apartment to take home all the valuable things for summer. I have a friend at work who needed a place to live this summer for a month and told him he could stay here. I'm hoping it's good karma that will come back to me with a place to stay in LA. Yeah, still working on that. Oh well, again, I know I'll find somewhere and I'm not worried. Anyway, I need to clean my place pretty well. Try to ungirly it the best I can.

I'm excited to go home. I kind of just want a day where I do absolutely nothing but watch movies and be girly. I've wanted one of those for so long but have been too busy. I guess it's good that I'm working, but a day off would be nice. I hope this next semester works out better and I'll be able to have my weekends a little bit free, instead of working all weekend. Anyway, I'm rambling now.

Oh, I think I'm going to make a new blog with no relation to this one for my time in LA so my parents and friends can follow it. I'll put a link in here whenever I make it.

I think I'm more excited to go to NY than LA, haha, is that sad?

Time...

I really wish I had more of it lately. The semester is winding down and I'm busier than I've been than I think my whole time in college. Anyway, I have started about 5 different entries but never had the time to finish them. I usually decided sleep was better. So, here will be a quick update since a bit has changed.

First, my birthday is in 6 days! That's really exciting. My brother and friends are coming out Wednesday, and Irene is coming Friday! Which means I'm pushing to get everything done by Wednesday for all my classes. It's a busy weekend... but it'll be totally worth it!

Second, in 22 days, I will be leaving for my three month internship in LA!!! It kind of hasn't hit me that I'll be living in LA for three months, I don't know, when you've wanted something for so long and finally get it it just doesn't seem real. But it is! I can't wait to be in warm weather all the time and be surrounded by palm trees!! Man do I love palm trees. Just the vibe of California. I've always said it was different than Washington. People are just laid back and I think the sun makes everyone happier. I'm expecting I'll change a little bit after being there. Know exactly what I want to do with my life. So, while I do have one of the coolest internships I could get for what I'm doing. I have no where to live. And finding a place is just frustrating. I'm not one that really trusts craigslist. Plus, rent down there is crazy for one person. So I'm really just hoping that it'll all work out and I'll find something. It looks like I may end up staying in an extended stay hotel until I can actually go see and find a place.

Oh yeah, and I'll be working on Wilshire Blvd! Right in the heart of LA. I'm planning on taking insane amounts of pictures. If I have internet, I want to post a new photo everyday of somewhere I went or something I found. This is going to cost a lot, so I plan on getting my money's worth from it. No sitting around inside. I'm going to go out and explore everything!

Anyway, with talks of being busy... this is really all I have time to say. I work all three days this weekend which is leaving little time to focus on group projects, editing, working on my script, cleaning my apartment... haha, ah.

I can't wait for palm tree lined streets!

I'll be working close to here.

Wilshire Boulevard.

Santa Monica at the end of Wilshire.

I can't wait to be at the beach!!

Best breakfast ever...

Okay, I am not the biggest breakfast person. It's just never been a meal that appeals to me. However, I always eat it since it's the "most important meal of the day." Anyway, I made this recipe a lot in the summer and just re-made again this morning, and felt the need to share this amazing recipe.

It's from Bethenny Frankel, of the Real Housewives of New York. She has videos you can find on youtube of recipes she makes and exercise tips. Here's the recipe:

Healthy Brown Rice Breakfast

Serves 1

1/2 cup cooked brown rice
1/4 cup soy milk (or regular milk if you like it)
1 tablespooon dried cranberries or raisins (I skip this cause I don't like dried fruit)
1 teaspoon sliced almonds (I use pecans because I like them better)
1 tablespoon maple syrup (this is the real stuff, no cheap Mrs. Buttersworth crap)
1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon

Combine all the ingredients in a saucepan and heat over medium heat until warmed through, about five minutes.

That's it! How easy is that? I swear, it's the best breakfast I've ever eaten. Delicious and very filling. Also, it's relatively good for you. I feel this beats out cereal any day. Try this tomorrow morning! Seriously, you will not be disappointed and probably want to eat it every morning after!

Just Be.

Yesterday was the communication symposium where I met with the guys from LA who I've been trying to get an internship through. The experience was really great and eye opening. There was one part that stood out to me more than anything else, that I just figure I should share to hopefully inspire others. I had a conversation with a guy, who is directing unscripted shows in LA, about my interest in writing for a TV show, it went something like this:

Him: So, you want to be a writer?
Me: Yes.
Him: No, wrong answer. Don't WANT to be a writer, BE a writer. Write everyday, find actors who can act out scripts that you write, find a director to film scripts you write, never stop writing. BE a writer.

I don't know why, but this just hit me. It makes so much sense. Of course you're not going to get anywhere saying "I want this." You're always going to want it, never actually have it. But saying it in a way like it's already true and practicing what it takes to become that, of course you will become that. You'll begin to see yourself that way, as will others. So, I no longer want to be a writer. I am a writer.

I also realized, this whole "just be" motto can be applied to any part of your life. Stop wanting things and just start doing them/being them. Instead of "I want to be healthy," just think "I am healthy." Instead of "I want to be happier," just think "I am happier." Always wanting is never going to get you anywhere. I don't know why this didn't hit me sooner. It's just like the secret, you have to be able to visualize having the things you want now. Because thinking that you have something so strongly, is like thinking you do have it, so it will happen. What needs to happen for it to become reality will fall into place like there was no other possiblity for what you're doing.

Now, continuing on with the secret. I believe it was again in full swing last night. Not even with me consciously knowing it. We had a scholarship award banquet, where the students who won scholarships sit at tables with the professionals who came for the symposium. It was 2 students and 6 professionals at each table. All the seating was pre-assigned. I get assigned to table 15. There were probably 30 tables for the entire banquet. Who ends up also being assigned to sit at my table? The two guys from LA. Okay, now to be completely honest, one of the guys was one seat away. I saw his name tag, sat there and thought "this is a once in a lifetime thing, why not make it better for myself?" Maybe it was bad, but when an opportunity arises, sometimes you just have to do what's best for you. So, I just happened to switch his name card with the guy's directly next to me.

Am I happy with doing that? Absolutely! I ended up talking to him about all sorts of things being related to our school, moving to LA, getting an internship, the 80s bands that toured at the school when he went, how we both play Rock Band. We made side comments during the banquet and symposium speeches. All because I decided to move his name tag. Also, them seeing me receive several scholarships I think helped realize I'm not just another girl who has some silly dream of going to LA. Proved that I work hard and was recognized for that. The director guy said he felt like he really needs to find me an internship to get me on my right path. It was really nice to hear him say that. Oh yeah, and the guy who's name tag I moved away from me, he ended up not evening showing up!

Overall, the symposium was a great experience. Minus being in heels for 12 hours. My feet were killing me by the time I got home. But, it was well worth it. I have a very good shot at getting an internship this summer in LA, incredibly exciting! It's so weird when something you've always wanted starts to become real.

So, my advice to others, just like the advice I was given: Don't want, just be.

Hair/Makeup Challenge: Day Seven

Final day of the challenge, except I still have one more look to do. My final one was my retro look. Incredibly simple but full impact!

Inspiration was really any old hollywood look. Kate Beckinsale in Pearl Harbor has inspired me since high school, I copied her look then. And Gwen Stefani is a look I have always loved, makeup wise and style wise.



My interpretation:

The eye was the easiest yet, all you need is three things! Stila Kitten all over the eye and up to the brow. Sephora liquid liner in Noir on the top, winged out. I also put it on the bottom. Two coats of Great Lash mascara in Very Black. That's it!


And the most important, red lips!! I lined my entire lip with the MAC Cherry lipliner. Then I went over that with MAC Ruby Woo.


Here's the hair, I just pulled the top back, easy.


I of course love this look! Wearing red lipstick just makes you feel sassy. Wish I had more reasons to wear it out without looking ridiculous!